Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize