actually, I'm a sock model
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
