hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize