its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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