i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
