Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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