check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
