I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
