The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
