Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry SmmrsEVE hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(586): View more from Michigan

He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.

Fav 6 930 2024
share tweet
(217): View more from Illinois

he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper

Fav 55 12609 1036
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(813): View more from Florida

Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad

Fav 23 1400 3820
share tweet
(925): View more from California

and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.

Fav 21 4703 1536
share tweet
(973): View more from New Jersey

I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick

Fav 41 1459 4043
share tweet
(330): View more from Ohio

just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.

Fav 10 6240 1267
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(740): View more from Ohio

he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.

Fav 18 2668 2244
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(616): View more from Michigan

Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.

(402): View more from Nebraska

20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun

Fav 2 1063 792
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(281): View more from Texas

I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!

Fav 0 10 67
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT