Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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