i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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