You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
