oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
