People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
