Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
he fucked my hip out of place.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
