Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I am naked and annoyed.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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