we're blogging at a bar
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
