i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
