he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
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