You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Randomize
