If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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