Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
