I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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