i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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