Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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