Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
