my soul wont recognize me after tonight
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
