New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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