just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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