she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Randomize
