So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
