Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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