...so i touched it.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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