so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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