i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
