need another drink. this is the easiest way
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
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