I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
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