i wish starbucks made bloody marys
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Dignity is for republicans.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
