Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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