Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
