Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize