i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Watching her eat just hurts me
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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