taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Someone shattered a urinal.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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