please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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