Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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