It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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