Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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