I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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