if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
