I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
