I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize
