Pregnant stripper...not hot.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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