Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
