for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
