If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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