you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Randomize
