he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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