am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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