Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
