i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
well you can't waste a boner
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I didn't notice because vodka
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
