If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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