its not stalking. its research.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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