Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
