No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
