dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
