why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
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