I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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