We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
