he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
where are you?
Hypothermia
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Randomize
