Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
