I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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