every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
You ate ashes out of my bong
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
