I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
My Higher Power is John Stamos
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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