I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
