Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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