dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Randomize
