my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize