My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I think I just sharted jello shots
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