We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
