I'd wear matching sweaters with you
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
We have so much sex to catch up on
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
