She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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