honey bunches of taint.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
being pregnant is like rehab
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
