Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
